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Build Self-Confidence - Face Your Fears

 

You can look at yourself in the mirror all day long and tell yourself that you are going to give a great speech on stage, that you are going to get that new job, or that you are going to pursue the romantic relationship of your dreams, hoping that looking into that mirror will help you to move forward with more confidence and self-esteem. 

 

But, absent of actually facing your fears, you will probably find that self-confidence on the deepest and most fundamental level continues to elude you.  Realize that fear is often based on unhelpful or inaccurate interpretation, and the choice to perceive negative aspects.  Avoiding your fears gives them power. The time has come to face your fears and reclaim your power.  Here is how you start:

 

  1. 1. Examine your fears.  Get them out in the open. What is it that scares you so much?  What are the common fears that affect your daily life?  Fear usually comes down to insecurity and uncertainty.  Be honest with yourself.  Acknowledge your fear.  Trying to convince yourself that your fear is nonexistent is a dishonest and ineffective approach.
  2. 2. Educate yourself on your fears.  You need to learn more about what makes you fearful of these situations.  Past experience is a common source.  Many people hold fear vicariously, having heard someone speak about a situation, or having seen something on TV.  Educating yourself on what makes you fearful is vital to your effort to move past your fear.
  3. 3. Select one fear that you want to dissolve. Disregard how daunting the fear may be; you will face it anyway.  To select one fear will prevent you from being overwhelmed, as you might be if you look at all of your fears at once. 
  4. 4. Develop faith in something.  To face fears, you must have faith, which can take any number of forms; religion, god, yourself - you have to believe in something.  Faith will give you the courage to face your fears.  You will develop the confidence that everything will be okay. (and it will!)
  5. 5. Change your outlook.  Remain present and in the moment.  Dwelling in the past or the future will cultivate more fear and the circumstances that support fear.  Every moment offers the opportunity to choose a positive or negative perspective; choose to align yourself with the positive.
  6. 6. Go on and do the thing that scares you most. Get on that airplane, rush out on the stage, go to that dinner party alone, ask for the promotion you deserve.  You will feel strong, empowered, and fearless.  Remember to celebrate and reward yourself for your achievement!

A surefire way to face your fears is to attend the Firewalk Instructor Training offered at our karate school.  In addition to firewalking, you will master accelerated learning, glasswalking, steel bar bending, arrow breaking, board breaking, smashing cinder block caps with your bare hand, and many other remarkable skills. You will learn leading-edge exercises that facilitate personal empowerment.  When you have completed the 4-day course, you will be certified to teach all of these skills.  While certified instructor status offers exceptional value, many people take this course solely for extraordinary personal empowerment and spiritual insight. (Chiropractors, salesmen, corporate trainers, meeting planners, spiritual leaders, motivational speakers, and many more have found this course to be invaluable.)

 

 

Attitude is everything; I call it the first holy grail of mental skills training. What we think directly affects how we feel, which directly affects what we do.  Therefore, attitude will determine the quality of our approaches, our performances, and our responses; it determines our altitude.  Does this mean that athletes who are confident and having fun play better than those who are frustrated and timid?  Absolutely!  So which comes first, the chicken or the egg?  I don't know.  Which comes first: successful outcomes or a positive, confident, fun attitude?  For many, success does, but that's not good!  For the greatest athletes in the world, the ideal attitude for performance comes first!

 

Attitude is a function of what we think about/focus on.  Most people's attitude goes with the flow, thinking about/focusing on current events, current needs, current fears, current desires, etc.  That can be good, but can just as easily be bad if you're in a raft and the current is, for example, the Niagara River.  It might not even seem dangerous at the moment, but it could be leading towards a great fall.  My reminder to athletes: you have extremely little control over what goes on around you, but total control of how you choose to respond to it.  In that choice lies your freedom, your happiness, and your personal power.  Choose wisely.

 

Many people have a less-than-ideal attitude toward "failure."  Instead of viewing it as a stepping stone to success, they see it as an end in itself - a bad one.  If they would remember the wonderful goal of approaching their potential, it would be easy to remember that we learn and grow from adversity.  It took me a while to accept this, but I am now a firm believer that adversity is always good for you, as long as you survive!  You survive as long as it doesn't kill you and or cause you to quit.